Dont' just hush that inner negative nagging critic, set off some dynamite! Boom!

"Accept everything about yourself--I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end--no apologies, no regrets."--Clark Moustakas

Today I want to sit and ask myself what I want and let the question resonate from within. I won't answer the question, I will just let it echo in my soul. I will play with the question allowing images to come to mind, bringing me the picture of what I want from my life.

I will accept and embrace myself just as I am. I believe acceptance will lead to positive changes within myself. I can't condemn myself and expect positive growth to occur. Today, I will believe in myself and know with all my heart I can conquer any fears I have. I will trust myself to make sound decisions about my own life.

I will forgive myself for not being perfect. I will remember there are no failures in my life, only an opportunity to learn and grow. I will challenge myself and wiggle out of my comfort zone. This is where the real learning begins. I will be honest with myself as this allows for true growth.

I will be authentically me.

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart.
...live in the question.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet


“Beautify your inner dialogue. Beautify your inner world with love light and compassion. Life will be beautiful.”
― Amit Ray, Nonviolence: The Transforming Power

Loving yourself

How I love myself

Writing feels like a sweet surrender. I feel like freeing the knots in my brain. Writing is bravery because I'm exposing the flaws I have in my writing style. I am writing with courage and just choosing to go with my flow. I feel vulnerable when I write and I've decided that vulnerbility is wonderful. I connect with the sacred part of myself when I touch the fragile part of my spirit.

I have a space that I call my own in my apartment. I surround my space with objects that remind me of who I am. I have a collection of quotes and positive affirmations on a board above my desk. I have seashells that give me comfort because I love the ocean and all the gifts that it offers. I have an array of smooth stones. I hold the cool, smooth stones in my hands and be still. I always have candles burning. I am captivated by the flame. I am so mesmerized by the dancing flame. I have a long simple gold cross hanging in my space that was given to me from my mom. It is special to me because it is from my beautiful mom and because of it's simplistic gorgeousness. I have pictures of my loved ones above my desk. It gives me joy to see their faces. Sweet memories are all around me. I believe in filling my space with objects that fill me with joy, sweet surrender memories that fill me with love. I count my blessings in my sacred space that I made for myself.

My online passwords have special meaning to me and trigger a positive response within me. When I log in, I feel just a little bit better. Just a little thing that makes me feel connected to goodness and joy. When I'm online, I have fun, lighthearted, positive posts on social media. I feel that negativeness is contagious and I do my part to only spread positiveness and not bluesy-ness.

I refrain my thinking, I turn my thoughts right side up. I don't think, "I'm bored", I tell myself that I need more creativity in my days. I focus on my bravery rather than my fears. I'm examining my feelings of shame when it arises, I ask myself why? Why do I feel shame? I am doing the best that I can, I'm not giving up, I'm a survivor.

I love myself because, loving myself gives me fierceness, it doesn't make me vain or selfish. I'm fierce.

Today is Bell Let's Talk Day 2015. This day is centered on having conversations about mental illness. Texting by Bell customers, using hashtags and sharing a photo on social media Bell will donate 5 cents to Canadian mental health programs. One in five Canadians will experience mental illness in their life time.




I thought I'd talk about mental illness. I have suffered with depression in my past. I do not suffer now. I am a survivor. I am a force to be reckoned with. I know how to tend to my soft soul. I nurture myself which has been a practice in preservation. I believe in myself and my blessings are bountiful. I recognize that quiet reflection is healing. I need stillness frequently to soothe my spirit.

I wasn't always so in tuned to my needs.

I wrote this story about my pain, a few years ago. To personify depression I called it "He"


I've known depression intimately. He was a possessive companion, never allowing interference of others. He enveloped me, surrounded me, making me blind to those who cared about me. He made me feel weak, dependant on him, robbing me of my self esteem. Set adrift, bereft of supportive others in my sea of blankets lying with him who is depression.

I clung to the familiarity of my relationship with depression, I didn't know where I ended and he began. We struggled at times, I asked, "Why do you always follow me", like a shadow lurking, holding my hand.

He replied, you need me, you are all alone, and who else can you depend on?" I was drawn closer to my familiar friend.

I held on to depression, my solitary friend who led me to dark places that I never wanted to visit, let alone live in. I had no energy to fight him. He held me captive in my bed. My bed should have been my place of peace and stillness. He made it a place of relentless torture. He battered my spirit. He caressed my spirit with feelings of discouragement and despair. He seduced me with his darkness.


I'll leave you with a quote that I hold dear,

Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

I promise you that you are worthy and there is promise in tomorrow.

V

You are stronger than you have yourself believe. You get stronger with every obstacle you encounter.

promise yourself you will not allow negativity to cast a shadow on your day.

I encourage you to seek out people who lift you up so you can get a better view.

I wish for you to believe the world is a more marvelous place just because you exist.

I want for you to handle your dreams with the upmost respect. Nurture them always.

Your life story, has the most perfect leading character; YOU. Believe in your story, your truth.

Let Go and Let God.

Accept the beautiful and wonderous mysteries in life. With grace, welcome life's mysteries.

Be grateful....if even for your breath, if even for the sun, the rain or the caress of the wind. Be grateful, it will move you on the right path.

Love yourself like 'nobody's business'. You deserve to love yourself unconditionally.

Loving yourself doesn't make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible. Love your tender bits and your vulnerability. You deserve to love yourself. You may have told yourself that you aren't worthy and valuable. I'm telling you to write down a new set of beliefs for yourself based on love, compassion and empathy. I'm telling you to write a brand new page. Today you write the words for the screen play starring You. Today, you cast the players in your life. Today, you are the director, author, the producer. God didn't make a mistake when you were brought into this world. You are a miracle, you are a blessing.

count your blessings. good night - V